Straightened Hand vs. Healed Heart

I recently read two of the most amazing books (and if you know anything about me you know I like to read a lot so that isn't some weak compliment). The Blessed Child and A Man Called Blessed by Ted Dekker and Bill Bright. What makes these books so great in my opinion is that they've encouraged me in my walk with the Lord in such a profound way. Reading these books have made me want to pray more, spend more time with the Lord and has greatly increased in me the desire to be a part of the Lord's work, spreading His glory and truth to every man and woman and child.

There's a line the appears a few times through the book that keeps coming to my mind: "Whoever said a straightened hand is better than a healed heart."

One of my absolute closest friends is pregnant. And from the time her and her husband found out they were expecting their world has been turned upside down. Everything from her job and finances to her health and family has been getting hit. Most recently they discovered an infected blood clot in her leg (brought on by the pregnancy). She is thankfully at home after spending a few days in the hospital. However, she is now giving herself a shot twice a day of blood thinners to prevent more clots from developing.

So naturally, myself and other friends and family members have been praying for her. I quickly found my prayer for her turning into a whine fest. "God why is this happening? Don't you realize everything else she is facing and now this? Seriously Lord can't she have some normalcy?!" (Sadly yes this is how I speak the creator of the universe some times.)

Before I could even continue my rant I felt the Lord impress and remind me: "Whoever said a straightened hand was better than a healed heart". The human spirit can only endure so much and once its reached the edge of itself I believe that's where the Holy Spirit rushes in to give us the strength to keep going. In one fast moment the Holy Spirit could not only touch and heal my friend's body, but He could move on every situation she is facing right now and change it. But a healed heart really is better. I know the Lord is holding her. I have seen Him strengthen her faith to new levels as she has proclaimed the Lord's goodness and power over her and her family's circumstances. I have seen the Lord mold her heart to offer forgiveness and grace to those who are coming against her and her family. And I believe that those things are so much more miraculous and so much more wonderful than the Lord simply removing every hindrance and problem in her path. 

All of that lead me to wonder: Who or what testimonies have encouraged me the most? (Or if you have a weak memory like me: What testimonies do I actually remember?) Are they "God healed me" or "God brought me through it" testimonies? I realized for myself its always the latter. Some times God takes us into a valley or desert to heal our heart and to build up our testimony. Don't get me wrong I like miracles. I like seeing people get healed instantly. I've been healed. There was a boy at our church recently who received back his hearing - it was awesome. A healed body is great but a touched and changed heart is moving.

So the next time you find yourself facing grim circumstances; or for some reason can't figure out why all these unwanted situations keep surfacing in your life take heart and believe that in one nanosecond God can turn all those circumstances around. But a healed heart really is better than a straightened hand. Let God take you into the wilderness to build up your testimony. Trust Him to see you through it because He most certainly will.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

Dekker, Ted and Bill Bright. The Blessed Child. Nashville: West Bow Press, 1984. Print.

What's this? You cited the book in proper MLA formatting? Why yes, yes I did. Being an English major does that to you. Plus now you have all the information you need to get your hands on the first book. You're welcome.

Limited

I’m not really into watching movies. I like to sit down every now and then and watch a good film but you know those people who want to go see the movie in the theater on opening day at midnight? I’m definitely not that person. Even though I’m not really into movies there are a few that I will always be a huge fan of.

I know it’s considered cool pop culture nerd to say this but it’s totally true: I love Star Wars. Not the new ones – George should have quit while he was ahead in my opinion. I’m talking about A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. I remember being a little girl and my Dad bringing these movies home for us to watch and I was enthralled. The stories were amazing and the force was this limitless source to tap into to wreck major havoc on the dark lord Sith. Not to mention those ewoks were adorable and I dreamed of finding one some day. 

It’s movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Batman and Chariots of Fire (yes Chariots of Fire) that get me. These movies show people (or hobbits) that have extraordinary powers and abilities. Luke has the force. Frodo has the ring and his gang of mythical friends backing him up. Batman is billionaire Bruce Wayne and let’s be honest sometimes it’s awesome to have money. It can buy you the batmobile and that sweet utility belt he uses to protect Gotham city. And last but not least, my favorite Eric Liddell – who won the 400 meters in the 1924 Summer Olympics and was known as the flying Scotsman. 

While the majority of all these characters are purely fictional, no one can argue that they aren’t powerful. The force and Bruce Wayne’s bank accounts will never run out. It’s like these guys have no limits. I on the other hand certainly have limits. I’m no Luke Skywalker, or Frodo Baggins. I can’t fly. I can’t run at incredible speeds. I don’t have overwhelming strength. I don’t have the batmobile or utility belt.

But my limits don’t stop there. I am limited in giving because I don’t have a bottomless bank account. I am limited in serving because I just don't have enough time. I am limited at loving people who hurt and disappointment me. I am limited in my ability to forgive others. I am limited in overcoming temptation and evil. I am limited in my belief for the impossible. I am limited in receiving God’s blessings because I don’t think they’re for me. I am limited in understanding God and knowing His ways.

 Matthew 19:26 says:  

With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

I don’t know what areas you may feel limited in lately and we certainly live in a world where our limitations are constantly being thrust in our faces, but God is not limited where I am. Where I am limited God is not and therefore He enables me to be unlimited when I lean on Him.

Here are 5 Bible verses that encourage me when I feel limited:

1. Colossians 3:13 says that I am to forgive as the Lord has forgiven me.

2. James 1:5 talks about if anyone is lacking wisdom they are to ask for it because God generously bestows it upon us.

3. Matthew 7:10-12 Jesus says that no earthly father would give his child a stone or a snake when they ask for bread and a fish and then posses the question how much more will your heavenly father give what is good to those who ask Him?

4. 1 Corinthians 10:13 talks about that God won't allow a temptation to become too strong for me to handle and that He will show me a way out of it.

5. 1 John 4:8 says that God is love and therefore God is unlimited in His ability to love because it’s the very nature of who He is.

Because God is unlimited, we, His children are safe and it is when we fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith that He offers us the guidance, the will and the strength to push through our limitations.

This, this is the God we adore. Our faithful, unchangeable friend. Whose love is as great as His power, and neither knows measure nor end. ‘Tis Jesus, the first and the last, whose Spirit shall guide us safe home. We’ll praise Him for all that is past, and trust Him for all that’s to come. - Joseph Hart

Amish Taxi

While speeding down 472 (yes I was breaking the law on Sunday) I suddenly had to immediately hit my breaks as I came up behind a white passenger van. However, this was no ordinary Dodge 1500, this was an Amish taxi.

A little insight for you non-LC (Lancaster County) residents: There’s this ultra conservative group of people that live here in LC and they are known as the Amish. They are as mysterious as they are confusing. Intriguing as they are annoying. Some people are drawn to them – seriously I can’t believe the masses that make the pilgrimage here simply to see and smell the Amish up close and personal. Usually the Amish travel via horse and buggy, scooter, or walking but sometimes, when they’re feeling extra worldly they load themselves up into the classic white (or navy blue) passenger van. My friend’s parents use to taxi the Amish for a small fee. They’d go pick them up, drive them to their desired destination and then later jockey them back to the farm. 

So there I am following the Dodge van, knowing right away it was an Amish taxi and it wasn’t because I could easily spot about 8 or 9 straw hats through the back window. You always know when you’re following an Amish taxi because of one thing and that’s the speed of the van. Even though they aren’t using the buggy, they’re still going the same speed as it which causes so much confusion and frustration to me and many other LC non-Amish inhabitants.

I mean this group of Amish people (or hey it may have been just one family) have pulled some money together and hired someone to come pick them up and drive them to church that day. They are choosing to leave the buggy at home – and yet the van doesn’t break 5mph? Is the driver nervous that the sudden change from normal travel speed is going to cause motion sickness to his passengers as they look out the window and see telephone poles whizzing by? Does the driver not realize that they were most likely hired because these people were running late and hence opted out of the buggy because they had a need for speed that day? 

Obviously it’s much harder to pass a D1500 than a buggy. Plus no one else seemed to realize it was an Amish taxi so no one was passing the van. Therefore I arrived at church 10 minutes late. But that’s okay – the person doing the morning announcements was taking their jolly ole time so I didn’t miss much.

Purpose and Chance

A few months ago God randomly dropped this little nugget into my lap. Now when God speaks I certainly don’t think it’s random. Nor was what He said random. Why I say random is because God spoke to me about marriage. Now as a single 23 year old God talking to me about marriage is not random – or should I say me talking to God about marriage is not random. What made this moment random to me was that God spoke to me at 10 in the morning not while I was praying or speaking to Him but rather while I was at work. This is what I believe God said to me:

“Marriage is not about chance. Marriage is about purpose.”

If something is left to chance it’s clearly uncertain as to whether or not that thing is going to take place. I think too many times single people believe that if I say the right thing, do the right thing, look the right way and pray the right prayers then God is going to sprinkle my spouse down on me like a baker sprinkling rainbow jimmies on a cupcake. It’s pleasant, it’s wonderful, it’s just the right topping for my life. But what happens if I do all the right stuff and I still don’t find a spouse and get married? What then?

Well that’s where purpose comes into play. I truly believe God always has the best in mind for me. I also believe that to get His best I need to stay inside the will of God. Sometimes the best life possible for us is to not always get what we want. There are times and seasons, maybe even an entire life time on earth, where we don’t get exactly what we want when we want it.

Yes Emily but the Bible says in Psalm 37 that God will give me the desires of my heart and I desire to get married. Okay true, but there’s so much more to that verse than just getting the desires of our hearts.

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:3-5 (NASB)

There are specific instructions that must take place for God to bestow upon us the desires of our hearts. The first is to Trust in the Lord and do good. Do I trust God with my future or am I making Him my back up plan? Am I putting myself to do good works or am I too busy searching for a date to be about doing the work of God’s kingdom? The next is to dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Dwelling in the land is similar to doing good works. Be here. Grow and expand where God has you now. Regardless of whether or not I am where I want to be, I must not allow myself to become stagnant just because my timeline isn’t going the way I thought it would. Cultivate faithfulness. Am I willing and able to love God and remain faithful to Him even if He never brings a spouse into my life? Am I able to go, serve and love Him and others even if the thing I desire the most is never fulfilled here? I need to cultivate faithfulness so that no matter where life takes me I’ll be faithfully His. The next part of this verse says to delight yourself in the Lord. Am I able to find my satisfaction, fulfillment and joy in the Lord? I know that I can only find that in the Lord, and no one and nothing else will be able to do that. And finally the last clue (even though it comes at the end of the verse) is to commit your way to the Lord. God’s path, sense of time and dreams look really different than mine. If God thought the same as me I’d be married and have whatever else I’m desiring right now. I need to commit myself to His ways, plan and will, even when things don’t pan out in the order I wish they did.  Even though everyone seems to quote, love and remember the He will give you the desires of your heart bit, my favorite part of this verse is Trust also in Him, and He will do it. Because it’s not about getting what I want – it’s about trusting Him and following His lead.

Now back to purpose and chance:

I’m certainly not saying that anybody who wants to get married is weak and not following God’s will. I’m just trying to stress purpose. Sometimes our purpose is best aided and fulfilled by being single, this maybe for a short time, an extended season or a life time. The great thing about purpose is that you aren’t resigned to sitting in the corner and watching life pass by you. Life doesn’t start when I get married. Life is happening right now. I don’t want to become so focused on the one thing I don’t have that I end up missing all the other great things God is doing in my life.

Yes but what if I don’t know my purpose?

Well then you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship to put it bluntly. If you don’t know yourself and where you want to go in life, how do you expect to find someone who compliments you? Find God. Find yourself. Then find your partner.

I certainly have the desire to get married. And I do believe that someday God is going to set that in motion. But I also believe that if I don’t get married it doesn’t mean I’ve failed, my life is less and lacking or that I must have done something wrong. In my opinion no one deserves to get married. I used to think how much I deserved it. I’m mature. I love God. I’ve got some money saved. I’m attractive, funny, smart (not to mention humble) – I deserve this and someone deserves to bask in my awesomeness! (Seriously I thought this at one time.)

But you know what? I don’t deserve this. No one does. Marriage is a wonderful and beautiful gift from God. It’s the closest picture of Christ loving the church that we have available to us. No one deserves it- but God offers it to us. It’s another blessing He wishes to lavish upon those who seek His will and righteousness.

So do I believe that marriage is in my future? By the grace of God yes I do. Do I also believe that if I don’t get married that it means my best, most blessed and fulfilled life is accomplished by me being single? Absolutely.

Because after all…

            Marriage isn’t about chance. Marriage is about purpose.

No Longer Single Conversations

There are some days where I find it difficult to be single. And maybe it’s just me but there seems to specific times and seasons where being single is hard. I think everyone has some of their own personal hard times but there are also some universal hard single times. These times include and are not limited to: holidays, weddings, beginning of summer, winter - specifically the time from the 2 weeks before Christmas to Valentine’s Day. But there is no doubt that the hardest and most difficult time to be single is when another one of your single friends bites the dust and goes from being a me to a we. I recently was with some girlfriends and ended up sharing this with them. They were laughing and my friend encouraged me to share this because in her words “it’s so true.” Hopefully someone out there won’t be ashamed to admit that they have felt this way at one time.

These are usually how my conversations with my formerly single friends go when they are telling me about their new found love and outlook on life.

Friend: … and that’s how it all happened and he’s just great!

Me: Wow! That is so awesome! Sigh why not me.

Friend: Yeah I’m just so happy and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I mean granted it’s been only a few weeks but I just don’t see how this could get any better! I’m so excited!

Me: New relationships are always exciting. Dear God WHY?!

Friend: Yeah it’s so funny too because I threw in the towel on dating and relationships and then like two weeks later we meet! It was a total God thing.

Me: Yeah well I threw in the towel on dating 6 years ago sister and I don’t see anyone knocking on my door! You ‘threw in the towel’ if we can even call it that for like a month! You couldn’t even last a month! That’s why you’re starting this relationship. Well that’s just the way God works some times. His timing is perfect for us. Except for me!!

Friend: Oh so true. I know I keep saying it but I’m just so happy and I’m excited and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think this is it for me. I mean I don’t see myself feeling this way about anyone else and I don’t see myself meeting anyone else who’s more perfect for me.

Me: That’s just great. Gag. I can’t think of anyone else who’s more deserving of this than you. Except maybe myself. I mean seriously God this person gets to be in a relationship and I don’t?! I’m so much better and more deserving than this person. I’m more mature and spiritual and good looking and I love you more and I’m more surrendered to Your will and I’m just so more ready for a relationship than this person! Why can’t you bless me with a relationship? I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!

Friend: Well I’m sorry I gotta run I’m meeting him later this afternoon. It was great to catch up!

Me: Yeah you too. I’m so happy for you. Let me know how everything’s going. I hate you.

 

My Life is like a Car Wash

On Saturday I decided to take my car through the car wash. My car was filthy, thanks to the snow, salt and slush that has been plaguing the land since January. My mom told me about this new awesome one in Gap so I decided since it was close to home I should check it out. (No this is not a plug for the new car wash in Gap) The thing about this car wash that was really weird and in my opinion making it incapable of getting your car nice and clean is that the car wash pulls your vehicle through on a little belt and pulley system. You have to line your left front tire up to this pulley, then put your car in neutral and the system pulls you through and spits you out at the end.

So there I am trying to line my car up for this new car wash. There’s a guy outside directing me to go more to the right so the pulley will grab my tire, but when I look to the right all I want to do is go left because there’s a huge piece of car washing equipment just waiting to smack and scrap my new car! I keep avoiding his directions to go right and slightly start freaking out because I can’t see where this guy is directing me.

When I was driving home from work last night I realized that my little moment at the car wash is really similar to how I act when trusting the Lord. I cannot see where I am going even though I do have an idea of what I believe is going to happen. I believe this pulley is going to take me through the car wash. Just like I am incapable of seeing the pulley system, I am also incapable of seeing the process that is taking place in my heart as it aligns with God’s. There might be circumstances around me that make me feel nervous, uncomfortable or afraid; however, I should never allow those circumstances to dictate how I direct myself.

Jeremiah 29:11 says

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and future."

God’s plan for us is always to better us and draw us closer to Him. He always offers us hope and a future. It is only when I look into the eyes of Jesus and go where He directs me that am I capable of receiving the end results that both He and I desire. Even though the outer circumstances that I can see seem to be scary, unfair, intimidating and unknown, I have to remember that there are other things taking place that even though I am unable to see them with my human eyes; those things guarantee my hope and future. 

It is only when I surrender and align myself up to God’s system that he can safely pull me through and release me into a wonderful future.