Amish Taxi

While speeding down 472 (yes I was breaking the law on Sunday) I suddenly had to immediately hit my breaks as I came up behind a white passenger van. However, this was no ordinary Dodge 1500, this was an Amish taxi.

A little insight for you non-LC (Lancaster County) residents: There’s this ultra conservative group of people that live here in LC and they are known as the Amish. They are as mysterious as they are confusing. Intriguing as they are annoying. Some people are drawn to them – seriously I can’t believe the masses that make the pilgrimage here simply to see and smell the Amish up close and personal. Usually the Amish travel via horse and buggy, scooter, or walking but sometimes, when they’re feeling extra worldly they load themselves up into the classic white (or navy blue) passenger van. My friend’s parents use to taxi the Amish for a small fee. They’d go pick them up, drive them to their desired destination and then later jockey them back to the farm. 

So there I am following the Dodge van, knowing right away it was an Amish taxi and it wasn’t because I could easily spot about 8 or 9 straw hats through the back window. You always know when you’re following an Amish taxi because of one thing and that’s the speed of the van. Even though they aren’t using the buggy, they’re still going the same speed as it which causes so much confusion and frustration to me and many other LC non-Amish inhabitants.

I mean this group of Amish people (or hey it may have been just one family) have pulled some money together and hired someone to come pick them up and drive them to church that day. They are choosing to leave the buggy at home – and yet the van doesn’t break 5mph? Is the driver nervous that the sudden change from normal travel speed is going to cause motion sickness to his passengers as they look out the window and see telephone poles whizzing by? Does the driver not realize that they were most likely hired because these people were running late and hence opted out of the buggy because they had a need for speed that day? 

Obviously it’s much harder to pass a D1500 than a buggy. Plus no one else seemed to realize it was an Amish taxi so no one was passing the van. Therefore I arrived at church 10 minutes late. But that’s okay – the person doing the morning announcements was taking their jolly ole time so I didn’t miss much.

No Longer Single Conversations

There are some days where I find it difficult to be single. And maybe it’s just me but there seems to specific times and seasons where being single is hard. I think everyone has some of their own personal hard times but there are also some universal hard single times. These times include and are not limited to: holidays, weddings, beginning of summer, winter - specifically the time from the 2 weeks before Christmas to Valentine’s Day. But there is no doubt that the hardest and most difficult time to be single is when another one of your single friends bites the dust and goes from being a me to a we. I recently was with some girlfriends and ended up sharing this with them. They were laughing and my friend encouraged me to share this because in her words “it’s so true.” Hopefully someone out there won’t be ashamed to admit that they have felt this way at one time.

These are usually how my conversations with my formerly single friends go when they are telling me about their new found love and outlook on life.

Friend: … and that’s how it all happened and he’s just great!

Me: Wow! That is so awesome! Sigh why not me.

Friend: Yeah I’m just so happy and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I mean granted it’s been only a few weeks but I just don’t see how this could get any better! I’m so excited!

Me: New relationships are always exciting. Dear God WHY?!

Friend: Yeah it’s so funny too because I threw in the towel on dating and relationships and then like two weeks later we meet! It was a total God thing.

Me: Yeah well I threw in the towel on dating 6 years ago sister and I don’t see anyone knocking on my door! You ‘threw in the towel’ if we can even call it that for like a month! You couldn’t even last a month! That’s why you’re starting this relationship. Well that’s just the way God works some times. His timing is perfect for us. Except for me!!

Friend: Oh so true. I know I keep saying it but I’m just so happy and I’m excited and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think this is it for me. I mean I don’t see myself feeling this way about anyone else and I don’t see myself meeting anyone else who’s more perfect for me.

Me: That’s just great. Gag. I can’t think of anyone else who’s more deserving of this than you. Except maybe myself. I mean seriously God this person gets to be in a relationship and I don’t?! I’m so much better and more deserving than this person. I’m more mature and spiritual and good looking and I love you more and I’m more surrendered to Your will and I’m just so more ready for a relationship than this person! Why can’t you bless me with a relationship? I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!

Friend: Well I’m sorry I gotta run I’m meeting him later this afternoon. It was great to catch up!

Me: Yeah you too. I’m so happy for you. Let me know how everything’s going. I hate you.